I am shocked when I read a statistic about how many people are depressed and how many commit suicide, because of quitting. Some people quit their job, quit their relationship, and even some want to quit their life. There are many reasons, why people give up on things. Most important reasons are: fear, lack of patience, lack of love, and determination, no clear vision of future goals, lack of faith.
Fear is one of the most negative things in life. However, the initial purpose of fear is to protect your life, but nowadays fear has become a jailor and not a counselor unfortunately. The biggest portion of our fears are self-imposed, which means, that you have created them in your mind, and it also means, that you can get rid of them too. Some fears are harder to destroy than others, depending on how long we had them, and what we fear. One can fear change, failure, rejection, pain, and yes, even success, which make them quit. Bottom line is, that nobody is perfect, and nobdoy does everything right for the first time. As you know, practice makes perfect, so if you quit doing whatever you do, because of fear of failure, you will never succeed. Try and fail is much more meaningful then not trying at all, because courage was needed to try in the first place, and secondly, you can gain invaluable experience that can be used the second time, to make you a winner.
Lack of patience is another reason, why people quit almost everything. Being a personal trainer, it has always amazed me, how many people make New Year’s resolution, to lose weight, and live a healthier, fitter life, and they quit after a month, or two of going to the gym. What most people don’t realize is that the time will pass anyway, even if they stick to their goals, or not, so they might as well, do their best. Anything that worth having, and fighting for, won’t come easy. That’s a fact. If it was so easy, everybody would have 6 pack abs, and legs like Tom Platz, and back like Ronnie Coleman.
Lack of love is another big factor in people’s life, which makes them quit their jobs, relationships, etc. This is the cause of divorce, of so many break ups, and unhappy families. The same applies for training too. Most people don’t like going to the gym, because they get sore, and feel pain, fear what will people say about them, etc. They don’t realize, that pain is temporary, however quitting is permanent. Whatever you do, you have to love it, to be able to do great work, as Steve Jobs said in 2005 at Standford. If you spend time doing something, at least you should love it, in order to be able to reach your full potential.
Determination is another key element in order to reach success. However, few people posses this important attribute, unfortunately. Many people quit after their first failure, saying, I can’t do it, it’s too hard, and when they feel pain, they give up. A great example for determination, is Thomas Edision, who said: “I didn’t fail 1000 times, just found 1000 ways which can cause failure”. People think that if they are talented, it is enough, but they couldn’t be more wrong, because hard work beats talent, when talent stops working hard. Determination is also reason why some people fit something in their lives, that others don’t. Yes, everyone has problems, work, family, household chores to do, but if something (in our case training) is important for you, a way will be found to make the time for it. You have probably heard this saying too: If you want something, you will find a way, if not, you will find an excuse.
No clear vision of future goals, is another issue, that people experience as an obstacle, on the road to success. There is an interesting saying: No wind is good for the sailour, who doesn’t know, where he wants to go. How do you expect God to give you what you want, if you don’t know what it is that you want. First you must decide what you want, and then take action to make it true.
Lack of faith is one of the most important cause of failure. I see too many people saying, no I can’t do it. One of my clients said to me, that she can’t do that exercise, because she couldn’t do it before. Do I want her to die? Of course not, and in the end she made 6 reps with the weight , she didn’t imagine using before. This is how important faith is. Faith in your abilities, in God, and be an optimistic person. The mind is the most important part of success, cause all these obstacles are there, only in your mind. However, if you keep looking for the positive things in life, and not focus on the dark side of it, taking every negative thing as a lesson, you will be much happier.
If you have questions, or need further motivation, please contact me on skype: peter.kovacs.trainer, and yahoo messenger: kovacs_peter85. Also visit my website: http://peterkovacs.mycylex.co.uk/ and like me on fb: https://www.facebook.com/kovacspeter85.
Magyar:
Megdöbbentő, hogy mennyi ember depressziós, és kísérel meg öngyilkosságot amiatt, hogy feladnak dolgokat. Egyesek a munkájukat, mások a kapcsolatukat, a legszélsőségesebbek pedig az életüket is feladnák. Ennek a viselkedésnek számos oka lehet, de a legfőbbek ezek közül a legfontosabbak: a félelem, a türelem, kitartás, szeretet, és a hit hiánya, illetve az, hogy nincsenek megfogalmazva konkrét célok az életükben.
A félelem az egyik legnegatívabb dolog az ember életében, habár eredetileg az lenne a célja, hogy megvédje az életünket, és mégis mostanság inkább egy börtönőrhöz hasonlít aki korlátoz minket, mint egy tanácsadónak. A legtöbb félelmet mi saját magunk hoztuk létre, így meg is szabadulhatunk tőle, mivel csak az elménkben létezik. Vannak félelmek amiktől nehezebb megszabadulni, míg másoktól könnyebb, attól függően, hogy mióta van meg ez a félelmünk. Van aki a változástól fél, van aki a kudarctól, a visszautasítástól, fájdalomtól, és akár a sikertől is. Az tény, hogy nagyon kevés embernek sikerül minden elsőre, mivel senki sem tökéletes. A lényeg, hogy a gyakorlat teszi a mestert, és sokkal inkább becsülendő az, aki megpróbálta, és elbukott, mint az, aki meg sem próbálta. Ráadásul másodjára már sikeresebbek lehetünk, mivel már van tapasztalatunk, ami nyertessé tehet minket.
A türelem hiánya, szintén egy komoly indok, ami miatt nem sikeresek az emberek. Személyi edzőként mindig csodáltam az emberek türelmetlenségét, a híres újévi fogadalmakat, hogy az idén lefogynak, egészségesebbek lesznek, és utána meg feladják 1-2 hónap után. A legtöbb ember ott hibázik, hogy nem látjék be azt, hogy az idő így is -úgy is eltelik, akkor legalább a céljaik teljesítésével töltsék az idejüket. Bármi, amit érdemes elérni, harcolni érte, az időt igényel. Ha olyan egyszerű lenne, akkor mindenkinek kockás hasa lenne, lába mint a Tom Platz-é, és háta mint Ronnie Colemannek.
A szeretet hiánya szintén egy fontos tényező abban, hogy az emberek feladják a munkájukat, kapcsolatukat. Ez az oka a sok válásnak, és a sok boldogtalan családnak. Ugyanez érvényes az edzésre is. Az emberek fájdalmat éreznek az izomláz végett, félnek hogy mit szól a többi ember a külsejükhöz, és feladják, mert nem szeretik. Ebben az esetben arra kéne rájönni, hogy a fájdalom, az csak átmeneti, de ha feladjuk akkor az végleges. Bármit is csinálunk, azt szeretnünk kell, mert csak ez az egyetlen módja annak, hogy nagyszerű munkát végezzünk, mint ahogy Steve Jobs említette a 2005-ös Standfordi beszédében . Ha már időt szánunk valamire, akkor tegyük ezt teljes szívvel, mert másképp nem érjük el a maximális potenciálunk.
A kitartás egy újabb nagyon fontos mérföldkő a sikerhez vezető úton, ami sajnos kevés emberben van meg, mivel az emberek nagyrésze feladja az első kudarc után. Erre egy jó példa Thomas Edisson, akitől a következő idézet származik: “Nem vallottam kudarcot 1000 alkalommal, hanem, találtam 1000 módot arra, ami kudarcot okozhat” . Szintén a kitartás készteti az embereket arra, hogy valamit beillesszenek a napi teendőjük közé. A mi esetünkben ez az edzés. Igen, sokmindenkinek zsúfolt a programja, a munka, család, barátok, otthoni teendők végett, de ha akarnak tudnak találni arra módót, hogy elvégezzék az edzést is. Gondolom ismerik a közmondást: ha akarsz valamit, találsz rá módot. Ha nem, akkor kifogást.
A világos célok hiánya szintén egy akadály amit le kell győzzön az, aki sikeres akar lenni. Van egy érdekes közmondás, ami így szól: Egy szél sem jó annak a hajósnak aki nem tudja, hogy hova akar menni. Hogy várjuk el Istentől, hogy megadja azt amire vágyunk, mikor még mi magunk sem tudjuk, hogy mi az amit szeretnénk. Először is, döntsük el, hogy mit akarunk, majd pedig tegyünk azért, hogy megvalósuljon ez a cél.
A hit hiánya szintén egy nagyon fontos tényező ami a kudarchoz vezet. Az emberek manapság hihetetlen mértékben hitetlenek. Van egy kliensem, aki azt mondta, hogy ő még soha nem csinált ekkora súllyal, és ez nem fog neki menni, mert régebben megpróbálta, de nem ment. Ezúttal 6 darabot csinált segítség nékül. Ennyire fontos a hit. Hinni kell magadban, a saját képességeidben, Istenben, és optimistává válni. Azáltal, hogy a dolgok jó oldalát nézzük, és a negatív tapasztalatokat is úgy fogjuk fel, mint egy lecke, amiből tanulni lehet, akkor sokkal boldogabbak leszünk.
Ha vannak további kérdéseid, akkor kapcsolatba léphetsz velem skypeon: peter.kovacs.trainer, és yahoo messengeren: kovacs_peter85 címen. Nézzétek meg a honlapom is: http://peterkovacs.mycylex.co.uk/ és likeoljatok facebookon: https://www.facebook.com/kovacspeter85.
Română:
E şocant cât de mulţi oameni, sunt deprimaţi, şi chiar doresc să se sinucide. Această situaţie poate avea mai multe motivuri, dar dintre care, cele mai importante sunt: frica, lipsa de răbdare, de determinare, a iubirii şi a credintei, în plus lipsa de scopuri bine specificate.
Frica este unul dintre cele mai negative lucruri din viaţa unui om, deşi iniţial a avut funcţia de a ne proteja viaţa noastră. În zilele noastre frica este asemănătoare mai mult a unui gardian, cine nu ne lasă să fim liberi, decât cu cineva care să ne dea sfaturi. Unii oameni este frică de schimbare, de durere, de eşecuri, de refuz, şi chiar de succes. Majoritatea acestor temeri sunt create de noi înşine, ceea ce înseamnă că putem scăpa de ele. Unele temeri sunt mai greu de distrus decţt alţii, depinde de cât timp am avut acestea. Adevărul este că foarte puţin oameni reuşesc ceva din prima, pentru că nu suntem perfecţi. După cum ştiţi repetiţia ne face perfect. Al doilea motiv este că e mult mai admirabil un om, cine a încercat ceva şi a dat eşec decât cineva care nici nu a încercat, pentru că primul om a dat dovadă de curaj, şi a dobândit experienţă ceea ce se poate folosi la următoarea încercare, ajutând pe el să devină câştigător.
Lipsa de răbdare este un alt factor care contribuie la eşecul oamenilor. Ca antrenor personal întotdeauna m-am mirat că oamenii de Revelion întotdeauna fac aceste promisiuni de a slăbi, şi a avea o viaţă mai sănătoasă, renunţând la această promisiune în maxim două luni. Oamenii nu dau seama, dar timpul va trece oricum, şi atunci de ce să nu petrece cu ceva folositor, cu realizarea scopurilor lor. Ce merită obţinut şi pentru ce merită luptat necesită timp. Dacă ar fi atât de uşor, atunci toată lumea ar avea abdomeni cu pătrăţele, picioare ca Tom Platz şi spate ca Ronnie Coleman.
Lipsa iubirii este aproape cea mai importantă motiv de eşec în viaţa oamenilor. Acest motiv este responsabil pentru atâte familii distruse, de destrămarea relaţiilor personale. La fel se întâmplă şi în cazul antrenamentului. Oameniilor este frică că ce zic ceilalţi, cum arată, şi când încep antrenamentele, apare durerea şi renunţă. Ceea ce nu conştiintează oamenii e că durerea e o senzaţie trecătoare, dar dacă renunţă, atunci e definitiv. Orice facem, trebuie să iubim, activitatea respectivă, pentru a putea face o lucrare excelentă, după cum zice şi Steve Jobs, în discursul lui în anul 2005 la Standford. Dacă tot petrecem timpul cu ceva, măcar să iubim, că altfel nu putem atinge potenţialul nostru maxim.
Determinarea este un alt factor important pe drumul care ne duce spre succes.Din păcate puţin oameni au această calitate, care este subliniat de faptul că majoritatea lor renunţă la o activitate după primul eşec. Cel mai bun exemplu, ar fi Thomas Edisson, de la cine provine următoarea citaţie: “Nu am dat eşec de 1000 de ori, ci am găsit 1000 de modalităţi care pot provoca eşec”. Tot determinarea face pe unii oameni să includă o activitate în viaţa lor, în cazul nostru antrenamentul,pentru că vor să facă acest lucru. Ştiu că unii au de lucru, familie, prieteni, menţinerea curăţeniei acasă, gătire, etc, dar dacă vor se poate face timp şi pentru antrenament. Este şi o zicală: Dacă vrei ceva, găseşti o modalitate, dacă nu atunci o scuză.
Lipsa scopurilor bine definite este un alt obstacol, care trebuie distrus, dacă dorim să fim oameni de succes. Este o zicală interesantă: Nici un vânt nu este bun pentru marinarul, cine nu ştie unde vrea să ajungă. Cum aşteptăm de la Dumnezeu să ne dea ceea ce dorim, dacă nici noi nu ştim ce dorim? În primul rând trebuie definit scopurile noastre, după care trebuie făcut paşi pentru a realiza acest scop.
Lipsa credinţei este cel mai important factor care poate cauza eşec. În zilele noastre oamenii sunt lipsite de credinţă. Am o clientă cine a zis că nu poate fă un exerciţi cu greutatea zisă de mine. A mai ăncercat mai devreme, singură, când nu era clienta mea, şi nu a reuşit. De data asta, a făcut 6 repetări cu greutatea respectivă. Atât de important este credinţa. Crederea în sine, în Dumnezeu, şi în capacităţiile sale. Trebuie să fim optimişti, ca să fim mai fericiţi, şi să luăm fiecare experienţă negativă ca o lecţie, din care putem învăţa.
Dacă mai aveţi întrebări atunci mă puteţi contacta pe skype: peter.kovacs.trainer şi pe yahoo messenger: kovacs_peter85. Vizitaţi şi pagina mea de internet: http://peterkovacs.mycylex.co.uk/ şi daţi un like pe facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kovacspeter85.
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